Hi. My name is Kevin. If you send me $5 and a photo, I’ll try my best to draw a caricature of you. But it probably won’t look like you because I am NOT good at this. Like AT ALL.
I’m sorry, Andrew. I made your face too wide. And your nose too big. And your lips all weird. Not gonna lie, there’s not I got right here. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Neesh & Amanda. I got confused by Neesh’s elephant costume and accidentally drew him as a elephant. That’s my bad. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Robyn & Joshua. This looks nothing like either of you. Robyn, you don’t wear glasses and Joshua, you’re not a dandy fop with a mustache and monocle. I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’m sorry, Elin. I don’t know why I drew you so mad. You’re clearly smiling in your photo. I have no idea what I’m doing. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Robb & Jenni. This doesn’t look like either of you. I don’t know what happened. I’ve been really tired lately. Hope you’re not mad. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Kate. This is awful. I forgot your glasses. And I don’t know how to draw hands. Or bridges. I’m the worst. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Sidney. I really screwed up your nose here. I’m still not that good at proportions. I hope you’re not mad at me. I tried my best. No refunds.
I’m sorry, David & Denise. This looks nothing like either of you. I hope I didn’t ruin your wedding. But if I did, I understand. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Jonny. I screwed up your facial hair. And your hat. My powers of observance are really awful. Please don’t be mad at me. No refunds.
I’m sorry, Glen. I just… I don’t… I have no idea why I didn’t draw your facial hair. And the smile? Was I even looking at your picture? I’m the worst.